When I was in middle school, my mom took me to a writing workshop at the local high school. My mom always said I have a big imagination. So I wrote a story at the workshop and was published in their publication. I was hooked.

I filled notebooks with poetry and stories galore. I collected quotes from famous authors and kept them in the front cover of my notebooks. These days I just meme them.

In college, earning an English degree, I won first or second place for both my poetry and a short story I wrote in the wake of my father’s death. I didn’t like all the attention I received and I shut down. Part of it was from grieving but some of it was because I felt too exposed and vulnerable. People would get to know me through my writing but who was I? At the time, I felt I didn’t have much to offer the world. That’s changed now. I know I am a daughter of the King. I thought writing would be shelved like my desire to learn American Sign Language. I knew my arms would stiffen and lock up from FOP so I never learned. I was told often that I had long piano fingers. I wanted to learn the piano but stopped myself because I couldn’t reach the pedals with how I had to sit with my crooked hips. And the violin! How I love it’s romantic sounds and the elegant way the bow gently touches the fine strings. And I briefly thought about not becoming a teacher because I was bullied and teased because of my disease as a child. I did not want a repeat of that. I want to say I prayed about it, but I’m not sure. All I know is, I was visiting a friend who just survived breast cancer, and her niece was visiting, too. Her niece was part of St. Joseph Church and their school needed a Pre-K aide.

I had an interview the next day at St. Joseph School in lower Manhattan. All I know was God showed up! As the sweet five foot nothing nun gave me a tour, I met a few of the staff, and I felt immediately at home. I got a job as a Pre-K assistant and absolutely loved it. The following year, the kindergarten teacher left and the sweet principal asked if I’d like to be head kindergarten teacher. I accepted and her offer came with a scholarship to Fordham University to earn a Master’s degree in teaching. I was on my way.

I also found out that a few of my poems would be included in a book called, the Hat. I was officially an author! I was so happy teaching. I loved thinking of lesson plans and teaching my students about the love of Jesus. I’ll never forget when little Winston came up to me and tugged on my blouse at my hip.

“Miss Caruso! I love Jesus with all my heart!” He said with all the enthusiasm I felt everyday in my heart. We prayed every morning as a school and I prayed three more times during the day with my students.

I spent everyday for the next seven years writing lesson plans and thinking about their needs and writing papers, I hardly wrote creatively anymore. But every so often I’d think of a poem or copy down a quote.

In 2004, I was sitting on a low bed and got up too fast and pulled a hamstring. From there, the knot in my muscle turned into a fibrous tumor. I flew home to Las Vegas for Christmas break. Around January first. I could no longer move my hip to sit. Pulling that muscle ultimately caused my muscles to have what’s likened to a heart attack, and immediately began to grow bone. I couldn’t sit to get back on the plane to get back to my students. For the next year I was in excruciating pain and due to an allergy to the strong OxyContin my doctor prescribed, It made me vomit. I took only ibuprofen and rubbed arnica gel on my thigh that tripled in size and felt like stretched rubber. This ended my teaching career. But God wasn’t finished with me yet!

At one point I decided I wasn’t going to talk myself out of writing as a dream like I talked myself out of so many dreams before. My friend, Christine Cartwright prayed over me and saw little hearts being blessed by my writing. One of my dreams was to write children’s books.

In my friend Tony Robinson’s Dream Academy, I began dreaming with God and He showed me an empty page in my notebook with a golden light shining on the page. God showed me I’m writing five books. I am writing books about inclusion from a Christian perspective.

All of Heaven is behind me, all of Heaven is behind you! I will not squander this gift. I will not let physical limitations stop me from what I’m perfectly capable of doing regardless of my circumstances. I no longer think into the future what my body can’t do. I am healed. I am not a slave to this disease.

Philippians 4:13
I know what it means to lack, and I know what it means to experience overwhelming abundance. For I’m trained in the secret of overcoming allthings, whether in fullness or in hunger. And I find that the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty.

Love,

Tisa