I went to visit my aunt Sandra and uncle John in Florida. My sisters and I spent hours peeling mangoes. Lots and lots of mangoes. I don’t remember what we did with them, but they did own a restaurant and maybe we were helping. I don’t know. What I do remember is that I wanted a particular outfit. My aunt Sandra took me to every store in Florida and we finally found it! It was a one piece jumper, a mix between forest and dark khaki green. She even let me change out of my old clothes and wear it! That felt scandalous and something I didn’t do prior. It was hot, and at one point I felt bad for all the time she was spending on me and I told her we didn’t have to find it. But she never gave up! I knew she was tired and had better things to do, but she put me first. 

We stopped for Greek food, and while I was in the bathroom changing, the top part of my new outfit fell into the toilet and got full of pee. My old clothes were already in her car, and I didn’t have the heart to make her do one more thing for me. So I buttoned up my onesie, and exited the restroom not caring if I smelled like pee or was soaking wet. I felt a distinct responsibility that when people go above and beyond for me, I will not make them responsible for a mess I made, whether or not it was an accident and not my fault. I lingered in the sun for a bit so that I would be mostly dry before entering her car. I never discussed it with her, or asked for help, because I didn’t want to wear out my welcome or be too much. It’s not up to me to decide on another’s capacity to help me. I often take the lid and limits off the length I go to help others, but not everyone has my same capacity. I have been on the other side when people say they want to help but don’t make much effort. Or say they want help, just not mine. 

I will sometimes reject myself or take myself out of situations before letting others have input because I have already disqualified myself. Sometimes I think I am overqualified and want to give others an opportunity to shine. I think I would have been honest with my aunt from my now perspective, and told her that I peed on myself and needed my old clothes back, if only temporary. But revival is messy, and sometimes when someone gets healed, they pee on themselves. I don’t want to stop a move of God if I am a little wet and smelly. I want to honor all He’s done for me and respect His time. I don’t think He would want me to wear my old clothes. He took the time to fashion me to reign, and I will be washed by the water of His word to walk worthy of my calling. Even if that means peeling hundreds of mangoes to spend quality time together. It’s all worship. It’s all serving. I love giving Him my time and giving Him the gift of me. I want Him to wear me like a onesie glove and get His full reward! 🤗🫶🏼💃🏻🚀

Training 

When I was a teacher in Manhattan, I would tell my students to jump when I said jump. Partly because they didn’t always come when I called, and partly because I wanted them to know my voice when it was serious. It was also easier than yelling over them. 

One day, when I was dismissing my students, one of them saw his grandmother waiting for him across the street. My rule was that adults had to come say hello to me, and I would release their child back to them. This prevented the kids from running off. That day, however, Josh saw his grandmother and took off running across the street. 

I saw him, and at the same time I saw a box truck barreling down the street. I yelled at the top of my lungs, “Josh! Stop!” And he obeyed immediately. I watched as the rear view mirror from the truck grazed inches away from his face. 

Some training prevents something from happening that is less than desirable. While we have to be careful about who and what we let influence us, we must be trained in following His commandments and learn His will. 

Discipleship leads us to the cross and how to overcome it when the box trucks of life come speeding towards us. I am grateful for the trials and tribulations that come my way, and I get the adventure to colabor with God to crush the head of my enemies. I am grateful for clearer discernment and to have new tools in my belt to jump when God says jump! 

🗽 

I climbed up the inside of the Statue of Liberty, and was able to see from the crown. The arm was still under construction, so seeing from the torch was not available then. But the view from the crown is the same as the view from the torch. We must wait for the baptism of the Holy Spirit to light the torch, lighting our way to inner freedom, and liberty to all the captives. 

The climb was painful, and I took breaks along the way, letting others pass. The elevator was broken, but I am glad I had the opportunity to use my body to climb the highest I could go by myself. I wasn’t alone. My sister, Esther, was walking with me, encouraging me to keep going. She always took me on adventures walking around the city. We ate falafels and explored the city together. We often walked across the Brooklyn Bridge back and forth. Once, a woman was getting robbed. Esther saw the terror on her face and came to her defense. The thief ran away terrified. Nobody messes with a Caruso. Nobody messes with a child of God. 

Liberty comes from knowing that we are protected in the Beloved. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. We have the privilege of abiding in Him as He abides in us. That perfect romance is undeniable and oh so precious. 

Sometimes we can trust man above God, and be brought into bondage by the accuser of the brethren. We can partner with ruminating on the faults of ourselves and others, and tie ourselves up in condemnation. We somehow think that the more we punish ourselves and try to make up for our missteps and risks that don’t go the way we think or understand will heal us. No. The blood of Jesus is more than enough to justify us and sanctify us to the high calling on our lives to be sons of God. 

I’m so grateful for fathers and mothers who love me and guide me into His truth. I’m grateful that obedience brings revival. Sometimes revival looks different than what we expect. But when we experience His presence within us in the quiet worship of the night, we can be gloriously drunk in His presence and be still and know that we can love Him back in purity, power, and passion. Selah

I think that in this electronic age, where we have replays available, and can turn something on and off at our convenience, we sometimes lack the ability to bond. Life takes us away from our first love. We hop like bunnies from one thing to another, rapidly reproducing what we’re consuming. What are we consuming? What seeds are we allowing to grow, and entertain thoughts that war against our purpose and destiny?

Are we not paying attention to the person speaking right in front of us or do we have multiple windows open in our minds to see life as if on a fast train, taking in the scenery, but never enjoying the atmosphere in us?

I have been on a journey of not feeling good enough. When we face rejection for any reason, we can become introspective and partner with that thought. What if we opened the book of Hebrews, Colossians, or Ephesians and learned our worth? What if we shut off all the tabs in our minds and cleared our cache from anything that exalts itself above the knowledge of God and what He says about us? 

My little brother, Josh, used to tell me that he could tell when I was listening to him, because my mind was focused and attentive. When I first met Zack, he gave me his full attention, and I felt heard and seen. 

Let’s aim to treat each other better than if we have the option of a replay. Right here right now. Let’s laser focus our attention on the heart of God for each other, and love with intention. 

1 Samuel 14:52 All through Saul’s life there was war, bitter and relentless, with the Philistines. Saul conscripted every strong and brave man he laid eyes on.

Conscripted- enlist (someone) compulsorily, typically into the armed services

What if there was a spiritual draft? Those Christians who have said the sinners prayer, and are without direction in the moment, all got trained in the supernatural to fight the battles they are currently fighting with the whole backing of heaven? What if our Intercessors prayed in a supernatural equipping and deployment of generals to close their eyes in this moment, and pray in the gap between heaven and earth that all believers have eyes to see His majesty and victory in this moment. The enemy of confusion is defeated, and hope marks each believer to be brave, bold, and courageous to speak life and life more abundantly in power and purpose to serve one another in love and kindness. Let’s go boldly before the throne of grace and declare a day of signs, wonders and miracles to follow us everywhere we go, and for revival to break out wildly and uncontainable today! Bars are closed, church is breaking out in parking lots, repentance is on the lips of every soul, and forgiveness is in our hearts. Reconciliation to first love is the order of the day. Welcome to Cafe Tisa, where the special of the day is Humble Pie! Haha Unlimited blessings at the seat of God’s table. I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have called you, and you are mine. 

Thank You for this life, Lord. Thank You for this day that You have made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!

Worthy

In the early roaring 20’s, I had been in a friendship where he would play all kinds of love songs on his guitar, and dangle a carrot of his love over my heart. I saw that he had fallen in love with me when we first met, and even though he was older, I was interested. He was funny and kind and generous with his help to me. I heard from God not to date him, but I still wrestled with my feelings because of the intimacy of the love songs.

What helped me not make the decision to date him along with the word of the Lord, was because he kept mentioning all of his past relationships. How one woman was his first love, and another was his soul mate. Still another worshipped him and he considered her a daughter. He said it felt like he knew me his whole life. I had a revelation that maybe I filled the mold of every woman he ever loved. That is a gift from God. I was deeply Insecure about my body.

At the time, I viewed it as an insecurity that he had to prove that he was lovable. Worthy. Or maybe he was letting me know that these women were his fans and he used the same pick up songs on them.

So then I was the one who felt unworthy. Still hoping for a husband, when I got a male caregiver, I thought he was the one. I didn’t love my body because it was broken. I felt completely unworthy of romantic love, and let him touch me in ways that were unholy. I should have set a boundary, but I did not.

I was in a summer of deep intercession. When I opened the door to sin, I noticed my intercession waned. My heart turned from the Spirit to the flesh. He later sexually assaulted me after grooming me with his subtle and not so subtle touch. I then let the enemy seduce me into touching myself, even to the point of injury. I made the decision to stop. And I did. All of 2023 was a year of victory and no desire for that kind of touch.

I’m not sure of the timeline, but the enemy came back in 2024 with another sexual assault. I was stronger this time, and I forgave quickly and was victorious. I then felt like I was called to war against the very part of me he was attacking.

I had had an encounter with the Bridegroom in 2022, a few months before the attack. The enemy was strategic in sending this male caregiver to attack me. As my Bridegroom is so glorious and majestic, that the weight of unworthiness crushed me and caused me look to settle for a man who was not my destiny.

I was not in prayer as in past seasons, and was an open target for the enemy to sift me like wheat. 🌾 After his attack, a female caregiver tried to start a romantic relationship with me. I had an opportunity to have a sexual relationship with either caregiver in the privacy of my home. But I had the hope of my Bridegroom meeting me in glory, and held onto that hope all the way through. I made a covenant with God at age twelve to remain a virgin until marriage, and to preserve my purity for my husband one day.

The sexual assaults against me started that year. I made the covenant of purity with God after contemplating suicide. God met me and said audibly that He loved me, and too many people loved me for me to die.

So in 2024, when I was assaulted during Holy Week by another female caregiver, I decided to take down the giant of sexual sin, and use masturbation in my prayer life.

In 2010, when I was dreaming of marriage, I started watching porn to learn about sex. This opened the door to the enemy in that season, and a caregiver assaulted me, but said it was an accident.

I confessed to my Anglican priest at the time, and he prayed for wholeness over me. Shortly afterwards, I was prayed for, and walked out of my wheelchair across a room. I then got a surge of courage, and walked back across the room!

In 2025, I was attacked sexually again, but this time I didn’t say no, and asked for more. My body was broken and bruised, and I was on a significant amount of pain medication. I entered a cloud of confusion. Even if it felt good, releasing seratonin, dopamine, and the ecstatic hormones the sex glands release, it was morally and spiritually wrong. I apologized to the person for making them think it was okay after I felt like they initiated it. I recently had the thought that sexual treatment of women’s genitals was used medically in the past to regulate the nervous system. But I was also exhausted and didn’t have the same defense mechanisms in place that I did in past instances.

The enemy is after our purity! He gets us discouraged In our dreams and uses the most sensitive parts of our bodies and feelings to try to destroy us.

There’s a testimony from Kris Vallotton where he was in an airport, and he saw two women standing next to each other. The demon hit one woman on the shoulder. The second woman turned around and got mad at the first woman. Then the demon hit the first woman on the shoulder, and the second woman started yelling at the first woman. Kris observed the demon laughing at the chaos he caused. Kris also teaches that the enemy attacks us when we’re in pain and exhausted.

My caregiver was jet lagged and fatigued, and had never been a caregiver before then. Whether she knew what she was doing or not, I had an open door to sin and welcomed him in to have his way.

God led me into a two day fast, where I didn’t drink water or eat. I shut off my phone and just listened to worship, and gave my life as a living sacrifice to Him. On the third day, He told me to feast! He said that I would no longer be tempted to masturbate because He supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory. It has been a season of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. I am contending for restoration of the relationships affected by this last event. I’m not sure what my healing will look like or when, but I plan to run, not walk out of my wheelchair straight into the arms of my Bridegroom.

In the meantime, I listen to worship and give my heart to Jesus over and over again. Worship is where Love meets Love. Jesus is my first Love, and always will be. He sang over us from before time began, and every love song is from Him!

Introduction
Doctors said I wouldn’t live past age twelve. I’m hopeful. I was always choosing to believe in victory no matter the odds or circumstances. I am fearless. Unshakable. Unafraid. I’m in love with the God who saves, and I won’t apologize for it. To be seated in heavenly places with Him means everything to me. I feel His presence tangibly and pray without ceasing. Our thoughts are prayers. We can entertain lack or what’s possible through Jesus. He is the first and last person on my mind. When my thoughts wander, I engage with Him and ask Him what He’s doing at the moment, what He’s saying, or what He’s feeling, and partner with Him to bring Heaven to earth.
My internal GPS, or God Positioning System, constantly recalculates to Him. I want to be used wildly for Him. I want to shine in such a way, that when people look at me, they see Him. This was a free gift I couldn’t earn. It only requires belief in Jesus and making Him Lord of our lives to activate the gift. He is sanctifying me on a regular basis. He is growing me and growing in me. And while that’s not always comfortable, staying stagnant is not where I want to be. I am like a child, eating up the sustenance of my Daddy’s presence by reading His Word, making time to sit and be with Him, worshipping Him, and taking risks of faith. Faith is our ability to remember. If God keeps giving us revelations, we must correlate them to Him and His word to gain understanding. He’s always trying to convey mysteries to us.
I also try to posture my heart to say what He says and do what He does. Matthew 5 shows the correct attitude of heart that fosters intimacy with Jesus. I am in submission to the Great Commission, which is commanded in Mathew 28: 16-20
“Jesus gives them some instructions and reassurance; this event has become known as the Great Commission. Jesus tells the disciples to: “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.”
My heart is to be a blessing and a hope to every soul I meet. To bring peace. I am so radically loved by the Trinity that I want others to experience Him, too.
This book is about my journey to arrive at this Victorious mindset by sharing my life with you. I can say with accuracy that the main key is yielding to His Holy Spirit on a regular basis. Some call it our conscience or common sense. Most of us don’t like being told what to do. We rebel against the authorities over us to be independent and forge our own path, often in rebellion to the status quo and to God. Self-preservation, self self-righteousness, and self-protection actually imprison us and keep us from forgiving and being forgiven. For me, the authority I didn’t bow to was what the world or society said about me. Part of it was because living with a chronic disease and disability makes you face natural reality in a way where you don’t have many options to hide who you are or your limitations and vulnerability. Society presses in, pointing out your lack and unworthiness to contribute to your life or the world at large, the way it sees fit, but it actually strips away the identity Jesus died to give us. I am here to say that we all have value and purpose. We must put aside selfishness and the need to be right, and learn to submit to one another in love. We are most powerful when we control ourselves, and discover the greatness we see in others.
When we find out who we are in Christ, the heavenly reality, which is the superior reality, it allows us to become a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. Christ in us is the hope of glory, and He wants to share His glory with us. Colossians 1:26-27 says, “the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. 27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” I heard a comment where someone said that they were of a lesser race, trying to rise to the status of a superior race. I commented back that the Bible says that he is royalty, and no race, gender, disability, or any other societal box can stop what God has ordained. At some point, we need to sacrifice the mindset of, “woe is me,” and embrace the mindset of, “wow is me!” because Jesus lives inside of us, no matter our race, disability, or any negative label others try to place on us.
You were a dream in God’s imagination before time began. You are His dream come true. He died so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. When we receive Him and make Him Lord of our life, He gifts us with eternity with Him now. It is not some distant, far-off place, but here and now. He puts Heaven inside of us!
(If you don’t know Jesus, I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to invite Him into your heart and make Him Lord of your life.)
Revelation 1:6 says, “And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
He calls us kings, because He has given us authority. He calls us priests, because we have access to His heart and mind.
When my parents brought me home from the hospital, my name was Theresa. My older sister by fourteen months, Mary, looked at me with enthusiasm and said, “Oh! Tisa!” And that is how I became known. Mary said that I was born with jewels on my feet. I chose to title my book, Resurrected! Shoes of Peace, and a Little Screaming, because everywhere I go, the peace of Jesus goes with me because He lives in me.
f.o.p is the way fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva is known. I choose not to capitalize it, as I refuse to give it any honor. f.o.p is a disease where the muscles in one’s body have what is likened to heart attacks, and then over a few days or a few months, and sometimes up to a year or more, turn into real bone. It builds a second skeleton in the person, rendering them immobile over time.
There’s no reactual pattern of which joint gets locked into a straight or some degree of bent position first. We are frozen in statue-like poses. Some are straight, like me. Others are in sitting-down positions or a combination with no set pattern. Some, like me, are stuck laying straight in bed and unable to walk, with limbs bent or twisted, or in any combination, the body gets sculpted into over timeover time. .
But here’s the thing: I am healed! Jesus healed me on the cross. It is finished. My hope to walk again and see His glory manifested in me will not be put to shame. Hope is a person named Jesus. Hope is having the emotions of the thing you a’re believing for before it happens. I am so rooted and grounded in His love for me that any attempts to convince me that I am sick will fail.
I am a healed person fighting off sickness, not sick and waiting to be healed. The Bible says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen in Hebrews 11:1. God gives us a measure of faith, and we pay Him back by believing Him, and asking for more by taking risks of faith to believe for the impossible. When I was first diagnosed, my first awareness of that faith was when my mom, Susan, said that this disease is not more powerful than God. Hope was born in my heart because, at around the time of my diagnosis, I had invited Him into my heart. My journey in these pages, these leaves of healing, aims to share that hope and ultimately bring you His peace as you walk in my shoes. He is healer.

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I make friends everywhere I go. I have a disability, so I don’t have to seek attention. I catch most people off guard, because the joy of the Lord that’s in me disarms people from seeing my disability to see Jesus in me. 

I was a volunteer for an organization, and made a friend who was also on fire for Jesus. He was someone who made friends easily, and was always proclaiming the word of the Lord. He called me one day to complain about the organization. I was sad for his experience, but encouraged him that God could use it for His glory. We lost connection for a while. When I heard from him again, he said that the name of Jesus was the wrong name, and gave me a list of names we should pray to instead. I said that Jesus has many names, and they are all found in the Bible. I wasn’t sure if the names he mentioned were in there, so I suggested that we have a Bible study to know the names of God. He never agreed to it, and asked me to pray with him. I refused. Some time passed before we had any contact. 

He was on my heart one day, so I texted him and told him that he should be sure to only pray to the correct names of God. He texted me back that he didn’t know who was texting him. He asked me if my name was Veronica. 

My cousin Veronica was in a terrible car accident. She broke every bone in her body. My cousin Veronica is a living saint. She served with Mother Theresa in Calcutta, and is a pediatrician who is loved and known in her community as a loving and caring person. She runs the Boston Marathon every year, and my uncle said that’s why she must have survived the crash. I think it’s because she has divine protection. 

God made the connection in my mind that whatever names my friend was praying to were agents of darkness. It was implied by him asking me if I was Veronica that he had somehow caused her accident by his prayers to Satan. Let’s face it, if we are not praying the name of Jesus, we are risking inviting the powers of darkness in to speak on our behalf. 

As Sons and Daughters of Jesus, we must exalt Him and Him alone. Complaining is worshipping Satan, and the more we exalt dissatisfaction above the victory we have in Christ, the more we partner with darkness and serve the wrong god.

I sensed in the Spirit what was happening, and I lifted my hands in worship to Jesus. I exalted His name, which is above every name, and warred in the heavenlies on my cousin’s behalf. If you are reading this book, you have a heart for prayer. Please pray for Veronica, that her body and spirit are restored to Jesus. And please pray for my friend, Anthony, that he would be snatched from the fires of hell and used for the purposes of God again. My reply to his text was to plead the blood of Jesus over him. I plead the blood of Jesus over everyone reading this, and that you repent. The kingdom of heaven is near. 

22 Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.

Proverbs 15:22 NKJV

We go faster by ourselves, but we go farther together. Being in community has taught me so much about myself, and how to follow strong leaders. We make our plans, but God guides our steps. When we are teachable, humble, open to correction by our leaders and community, we grow in ways we never could on our own. 

My personal relationship with the Lord is that I am quick to obey Him, and I take risks to please Him. My leaders, friends, and family will speak something that confirms or corrects my perception. Being under the influence of people who know their identity in Christ is key. I don’t follow just anyone. 

Finding your tribe is key to walking out your destiny. God gave us each a destiny and purpose. He’s not thinking that you should know it now, as that’s too much pressure for us. In general and most importantly is to love Him with our whole mind, heart, strength and will, and to love each other as He loves us. 

When we cultivate a personal prayer life, and seek His face on a daily basis, it’s easier to navigate this life more abundantly. When we get into community, this relationship is only enhanced. We see His face in one another, and look to serve each other with encouragement. 

I like to be the most encouraging person in the room, and bring my best to every conversation. It’s such a beautiful thing when everyone has this same mindset, and God has a place to rest and promote us in love and connection. 

I would encourage you to ask yourself if you’re hanging around encouraging people. Complaining empowers darkness, and stifles creativity and invention. Get yourself around a tribe of people who will lift you up as you lift them up, and watch God move! 

30 A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.

Proverbs 14:30 NKJV

God has given each of us a measure of gifts and talents to bring heaven to earth. We can’t focus on someone else’s gift mix in jealousy or envy, and get caught up in comparison and competition. We must celebrate one another and champion each other to win the individual race God has set before us. 

Nobody wins the Pain Olympics! We each have our own struggles in this life. We have both suffering and success in common. To me, success is being confident in who God created us to be, because low self esteem is pride. We have the Creator of the Universe living inside of us! We have no reason to envy others or feel less than because knowing who we are and Whose we are gives us strength to move mountains. 

The definition of envy is a feeling of discontented or resentfullonging aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. This is a feeling that is part of our human make up, and is a good servant, but a terrible master. Envy should provoke us to be asking GOd what we have in the way of gifts, talents and abilities. Favor ain’t fair, but we’ve all been given a measure of favor that as we explore God’s heart for us, we gain confidence, or Godfidence in who He created us to be. 

We can’t judge this life by our feelings, but by who we are in Him. To learn more, start in the book of John in the Bible. When you find out who God has called you to be, you won’t want to be anybody else!