Caregiving 

When caregiving for another, who needs a little help or a lot, we have to be mindful of leaving them better than we found them. Etiquette for caring for the disabled looks like not using us as a dumping ground for your problems. The load bearing capacity of having to navigate the problems you are addressing and trying to solve the problems of the caregiver is an off balance way of treating the patient. We all have problems and connecting points of shared pain and trauma. We all have incidents in our lives that intersect. But when you are caring for someone who cannot care for themselves, don’t add to their burdens by complaining about yours. Encouragement is the order of the day. When you find things that encourage your patient, you yourself will be encouraged!

When someone is on their death bed, they are the ones confessing their hardship and regrets. They need freedom and comfort, not added stress. 

And proper physical care is so important. To be gentle and honoring of the body you were entrusted to care for is essential and paramount to maintaining the dignity of the person. When you are in a position to care for another where the power dynamic is not balanced, the one with the most responsibility must take the lead and encourage and bless. The patient is just as powerful and has the agency to make choices. 

Often when the caregiver realizes how difficult the job is, they scale back their efforts and shirk responsibility to give the bare minimum of care. This is egregious and wrong. When a high water mark for care is established, it must be maintained and fought for so that integrity for both parties can remain. Shortcuts in care lead to neglect, needs that are frustrated, and a type of gaslighting that makes the patient feel invisible and unloved. We must be critically aware of the needs and the cares of those we serve, to maintain their quality of life and increase it when we have the power to do so. 

Each patient has different needs and when we become a student of hope, those needs are met with enthusiasm and joy to make their lives as comfortable as possible. 

Especially when a patient cannot tell you what they need. We must rely on the Holy Spirit to wash their feet and look into their heart and see what we can do to make them comfortable. Not everyone can communicate their needs, and often frustration and discontent will cause irritation to arise. The patient does not need discipline but compassion. Some might be over dramatic and complain when there’s not a problem just to get attention. There’s grace for that. Showing honor when the patient is not being honoring is a task that we must gently push into and appease with gentle correction. It is a sacred assignment to care for someone who cannot care for themselves. 

Being a powerful person in an environment that has powerless cycles built in looks like something. The caregiver must practice self control and maintain the selfless heart of a mother, while maintaining a level of respect for both parties.