I went to visit my aunt Sandra and uncle John in Florida. My sisters and I spent hours peeling mangoes. Lots and lots of mangoes. I don’t remember what we did with them, but they did own a restaurant and maybe we were helping. I don’t know. What I do remember is that I wanted a particular outfit. My aunt Sandra took me to every store in Florida and we finally found it! It was a one piece jumper, a mix between forest and dark khaki green. She even let me change out of my old clothes and wear it! That felt scandalous and something I didn’t do prior. It was hot, and at one point I felt bad for all the time she was spending on me and I told her we didn’t have to find it. But she never gave up! I knew she was tired and had better things to do, but she put me first. 

We stopped for Greek food, and while I was in the bathroom changing, the top part of my new outfit fell into the toilet and got full of pee. My old clothes were already in her car, and I didn’t have the heart to make her do one more thing for me. So I buttoned up my onesie, and exited the restroom not caring if I smelled like pee or was soaking wet. I felt a distinct responsibility that when people go above and beyond for me, I will not make them responsible for a mess I made, whether or not it was an accident and not my fault. I lingered in the sun for a bit so that I would be mostly dry before entering her car. I never discussed it with her, or asked for help, because I didn’t want to wear out my welcome or be too much. It’s not up to me to decide on another’s capacity to help me. I often take the lid and limits off the length I go to help others, but not everyone has my same capacity. I have been on the other side when people say they want to help but don’t make much effort. Or say they want help, just not mine. 

I will sometimes reject myself or take myself out of situations before letting others have input because I have already disqualified myself. Sometimes I think I am overqualified and want to give others an opportunity to shine. I think I would have been honest with my aunt from my now perspective, and told her that I peed on myself and needed my old clothes back, if only temporary. But revival is messy, and sometimes when someone gets healed, they pee on themselves. I don’t want to stop a move of God if I am a little wet and smelly. I want to honor all He’s done for me and respect His time. I don’t think He would want me to wear my old clothes. He took the time to fashion me to reign, and I will be washed by the water of His word to walk worthy of my calling. Even if that means peeling hundreds of mangoes to spend quality time together. It’s all worship. It’s all serving. I love giving Him my time and giving Him the gift of me. I want Him to wear me like a onesie glove and get His full reward! 🤗🫶🏼💃🏻🚀